


Like a Stone in the Sea

by valisi



Series: Vespers [8]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action, Alcohol, Anal Sex, Angry Erwin, Avoidance, Belt Bondage, Blood, Bonding, Canon Universe, Consent, Dominant Erwin Smith, Drinking, Feelings, Female Hange Zoë, Floor Sex, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Injury, Introspection, M/M, Pining, Platonic Hange Zoë & Levi, Rimming, Romance, Smoking, Smut, Special Missions, Tension, Titan cult, Titan fighting, Wall Maria - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-29 06:28:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7673620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valisi/pseuds/valisi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hange is granted permission from Commander Shadis to run a mission that will allow her to observe Titans at night, and she recruits help from Levi. When the mission doesn't go as planned, Levi defies orders and has to face the consequences for his actions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was published from a mobile device because I am currently away from home. I suppose, I could've waited to post until I returned home, but I want to stay on schedule. 
> 
> If you find any errors that I have missed in my editing, please respectfully post them in the comments. I will correct them as soon as possible. 
> 
> Please enjoy!

“Levi! Erwin!” Hange called. She knocked heavily on Levi's bedroom door. “We're doing it!” 

Erwin opened the door to his bedroom and peaked out into the hallway at an ecstatic Hange and a neutral Mike. 

“Did you get it approved?” Erwin asked. 

“Yes!” Hange screamed. “Thanks to your advice, Commander Shadis approved the plan, Erwin!” Erwin smiled. He stepped out of his room and knocked Levi's bedroom door. 

“Open up, Levi.” When Levi opened the door, Erwin, Hange and Mike all walked past him and into the room. He closed the door behind them. 

“Why are we doing this in here?” Levi was annoyed. 

“Fill us in, Hange,” Erwin said. 

“Alright! This is the map,” Hange unrolled the paper in her hand and showed all of them. “The Commander is only going to allow me to take one other Squad Leader and one Team Leader. Levi, I wanted to ask you to come on this mission with me and supervise. We'll be doing this a week from today, and the soldiers I take with me will be relieved the next day to catch up on sleep.” 

“What's the mission?” 

“We're going to the south side of Wall Maria to watch Titans at night. We've never been able to study their nighttime behavior because it's too dangerous to have an expedition outside of the walls without sunlight.” Levi nodded and looked at the map. Hange had already drawn his name in the middle of the wall of Shiganshina. 

“So I'll be here,” Levi said. 

“Right,” Hange said. Erwin and Mike looked at the map and didn't see their names. 

“Who's your other Squad Leader?” Mike asked. 

“I thought you two should decide,” Hange offered. 

“You haven't even bothered asking Flagon, I'm guessing,” Erwin said.

“No,” Hange said simply. Levi thought it was odd that she didn't offer an explanation as she usually would. 

“I have plans for that night,” Mike offered. Erwin's eyes darted to Mike. Mike reached up and rubbed his right eye. Mike had told Erwin that if he couldn't talk about Nanaba but wanted to imply that he would be seeing her, then he would signal. 

“Then I'll go,” Erwin said. He looked back at the map. Hange looked between Erwin and Mike and realized that she had missed something entirely. 

“Alright,” Hange said slowly. “So, Erwin, we'll station you on the West End. I'll be on the East End. With both of us on either end and Levi in the middle, if there's an emergency of some kind, we'll be able to reach any part of the wall rather quickly.” 

“Emergency?” Levi asked. “This is just reconnaissance.” 

“Sure,” Hange said. “However, we know almost nothing about Titans at night. My theory is that they sleep or rest, but I'm not sure. Also, if we learn something about the Titans that we don't want to make public knowledge then we should only take trusted soldiers. Even if we aren't supposed to engage the Titans in any way, there's no telling what may happen.” 

“Huh,” Levi was interested. “How far apart will we be?” 

“It's less about distance and more about the convenience of placement,” Hange said. “I'm placing a soldier at each spot where the Shiganshina district wall meets with Wall Maria. Then there will be another soldier each between those soldiers and Erwin and me. Total two Squad Leaders, one Team Leader and four soldiers. So the distances between all of us will vary. We'll have to see what looks good when we get there.” 

“That's a lot of supervision just for reconnaissance,” Levi commented. 

“Commander Shadis is probably afraid of the dark,” Hange sneered. 

“Shouldn't you be in the middle, Hange?” Erwin was directing the conversation away from Hange's feelings about the Commander.

“I want to see what the Titans do when the sun rises,” Hange said. “I've been able to watch them at sunset occasionally, but never during sunrise.” Erwin nodded. 

“Is the Garrison involved?” Mike asked. 

“They'll be doing regular patrols. We don't need their help for anything at night,” Hange explained. 

“This all sounds rather simple,” Levi said. 

“Right,” Erwin said. “It sounds like the hardest part will be staying awake all night. The nights are still cool for now, and that might help us stay awake. The moon won't be full though.” 

“That's fine,” Hange said. “The Commander approved the mission and I can't argue with the time of the month. Since we're going all the way to Wall Maria, I've gotten permission for a wagon and horses, of course. We'll be bringing some supplies like blankets and light flares. Naturally we'll be taking 3DMG. We can take blades just in case.” 

“Good work, Hange,” Erwin said with a smile. “I think you've thought of everything.” 

“I'm so excited!” Hange squealed.


	2. Chapter 2

On the night of Hange's special mission, Levi stood in the center of the wall that protected the Shiganshina district. At first, Levi was enjoying being able to look outside the walls without being in danger of having to engage Titans. A few Titans had gathered near the wall, but they had only exhibited the usual idiotic behavior. 

Earlier just before the sun had set, a Variant Titan, like Levi had never seen before, was crawling towards the wall on its hands and knees from the South. There was too much sunlight left to signal to Hange with his lantern, and he took notes about its appearance and behavior instead. It looked to be about 16 meters in height, but it never stood erect. The Titan only crawled by slowly without showing any interest in Levi. It had thin, shoulder length, red hair that was missing in patches. Levi didn't get a very good look at its face because it looked directly at the ground when it crawled. Vertebrae were clearly visible from the shoulders down to the tail bone. Shoulder blades pressed hard against its back with every movement of its arms. The most notable part of the Titan was its long, sharpened nails. Rather than finger nails, it looked more like the thing had claws. They were grimy from scraping the ground and pushing up dirt when it crawled. Levi cringed.

" _That's fucking disgusting,_ " Levi thought. 

The Titan moved slowly, but it was so large that it covered ground quickly. When it was close to the wall, it turned to the east and began crawling in that direction. Levi hoped that Hange would get a good look at it before the sun fully set. After the Titan had passed the curve of the Shinganshina Wall, Levi was glad that he didn't have to look at it anymore. He lifted his head and looked out into the distance. 

Watching the sunset on the horizon was relaxing, and in a way, he had watched it with Erwin. He wondered if Erwin was thinking the same thing. The most pleasant part of the sight was when the sun had completely sank behind the land, and the stars began making themselves visible. It wasn't very often that any of the soldiers had the leisure time to watch the stars pop out in the night sky. Levi didn't sleep much, but he rarely made a habit of going outside at night.

When the sun completely fell behind the horizon, Levi went to the very front of the wall and sat down to let his legs hang off the edge. The Titans that surrounded the wall under him had begun to walk away one by one when the sun began sinking. He wondered if Titans made beds to sleep in. The final one turned and erratically ran away from the wall, and Levi watched it disappear into the dark. 

Levi looked up and around at the other lanterns where soldiers were stationed. Everyone was quiet. Even if Levi could not see everyone clearly, he could see the shadows of everyone sitting or standing under their lantern stands. 

He noticed Hange stand and she signaled with her lantern by moving her hand over and away from the light. Levi wrote down each letter in his notes and looked down when she stopped signaling. 

_No Titans. Report._ Levi stood and walked to his lantern. After the two Eastern soldiers between he and Hange signaled that there were no Titans to be seen, Levi signaled the same. 

_Hungry_ was the response from Moblit who was stationed at the West joint of Shiganshina and Maria. Levi looked around and now all of the lanterns except for Erwin's were now signaling _Hungry_ . Hange had handpicked the entire team, and Levi thought she had made good choices. Hange didn't choose soldiers just for skill. She chose them for an entire of rubric of reasons. Entertainment value was included in Hange's rubric of perfect soldier picking. Few things irritated Hange more than a lack of appropriate humor. It would make the time pass faster. Levi signaled with his lantern and said the letters while his hand flashed back and forth over the light. 

_Tea._

Hange's lantern flashed wildly while she whipped her hand back and forth over the signal lantern. Levi didn't bother reading it, but he did grin at her animated maneuvers. When Levi looked over his shoulder, he could see Erwin standing with his back to his lantern. He had not seen the communication. Something else had his attention.

Erwin had not been watching the lanterns. There were small movements happening in the lighter shadows of the Wall. The waxing crescent moon was low in the sky and was no help in terms of light. Even if the movements were small, there was something very unsettling about them. At first he had dismissed it as animals that had wondered away from the forest, but his intuition insisted that he not take his eyes from the mystery.

Erwin paced along the wall without taking his eyes from the movement. He had a sinking feeling that something was wrong. Just before Erwin was about to signal with his lantern to Hange to report unusual activity, he saw a spark of light. He stopped in his tracks and watched. The spark happened again and a torch came to life. Under the torch he could see human shapes. When they held the torch higher, he counted two humans. Erwin's eyebrows raised when adrenaline surged through his body. 

Erwin took his flare gun from his belt and held it high over his head. He fired and the red flare flew into the air lighting the entire area with a bright flash. 

The humans saw the flare, and began running away from the bright light and away from the wall. 

Levi was pulled from his moment of fucking with Hange by the sound of the flare being fired. Red light filled the air, and Erwin was directly under it. Levi turned and looked out into the West. He saw a torch blowing in the wind even if he could barely see the humans under it.

“ _What?_ ” Levi thoughts raced while his eyes widened. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement. It was the disgusting Variant Titan from earlier and it was slowly crawling back around the curve of the wall. 

Levi took out his flare gun and fired into the air. The Titan stopped moving, and lifted it's head very slightly. Levi swore that he could hear its neck crack. 

Levi looked in the direction where he saw the torch last. The torch was now coming towards him, and there were humans under it. The distant sound of screaming registered in Levi's ears. He looked back to the Titan and saw that it was now looking into the direction of the humans on the ground. It had heard the screams too.

Erwin was able to see what was happening from his position. From the curve of the wall, he couldn't see why Levi fired the flare. He could only see the humans running toward Levi's position. The realization of a Titan near Levi's position hit Erwin so hard he wavered. When Erwin looked up again, he could see Levi's silhouette in the flare light. Levi had drawn blades.

“No!” Erwin screamed. He sprinted along the wall in Levi's direction. The soldier closest to Erwin looked and saw the Squad Leader sprinting towards him. 

"Squad Leader!"

"Hold your position, soldier!" Erwin yelled. He ran past the bewildered man. "Do not move!"

Moblit had been shocked to see the torch running through the open Titan Field. And when he heard another flare go off to his right, he turned to see that Team Leader Levi had already drawn blades. He could hear Squad Leader Erwin's commands to the West, but he didn't understand the words. 

When Erwin looked across the wall, he saw Hange was no longer under her lantern. Briefly, he saw her form flash under the lantern of the soldier that had been stationed next to her. Erwin turned to look back to Levi's position, but Levi was no longer on top of the wall. Absolute panic made Erwin's hairs stand on end.

Levi dropped down Wall Maria half way and watched the Titan from a closer distance. He heard Moblit screaming at him from the top of the Wall. Even though Levi had drawn his blades, he had no intention of attacking the Titan. He only wanted to watch its movements and have the blades drawn in case he needed them.

“Hey,” Levi called to the Titan. “Don't get any fucking bright ideas.” The Titan did not look up any farther. The humans carrying the torch were now in its sights. Their screams rattled in the air, but Levi couldn't understand any words in the voices. The river that flowed into Wall Maria separated the humans from the Titan, but that would not be a permanent fix. Levi thought if he could keep the Titan's attention then the others could save the humans.

The Titan began lifting itself off the ground. A bend of its joints made cracking noises so loud, Levi thought it would break its legs by lifting its weight. With every joint that it moved to stand, a sickening snap rang in the air. When it was finally erect, the Titan turned its head to Levi and revealed its face to the sky. It's mouth was spread wide into a sharp smile, and it's eyes were pale blue. Levi cringed. It was hard to see the Titan's nape now that the flare light was fading. With a snap, the Titan whipped its face forward and looked to the humans running towards it. Before Levi could make a decision, the Titan lifted its arms in the air and began running at the humans with the torch. He had a few precious seconds to decide. 

In the fading light, Levi pulled his hooks from the Wall and launched himself towards the Titan. He made a perfect hook into the shoulder. When Moblit saw Team Leader Levi leap away from the wall, he panicked and fired another flare into the air. Levi was briefly blinded from the initial burst of light, but he had already aimed. If he hesitated at all, he would completely miss. Levi did not back away from his decision and sliced cleanly through the neck of the Titan with ease. The cut was sloppy but very deep. Hot steam instantly began rising from the massive wound in its nape. Not hesitating had ensured success, and Levi was able to find the perfect opening for his cuts. He released his dulled blades from their handles. 

Now he was flying through the air without anything to head towards, and steam filled his vision. The white billows were parted when one of the Titan's hands fell through the air. There was no way to avoid the entire hand, but Levi thought he could spin away from it. Without any time to reload blades, Levi spun past almost all of the fingers and their clawing nails. But the smallest one could not be avoided. Levi felt a ripping pain in his back when the Titans smallest fingernail hit him, and he lost focus for a single second before pulling his hooks from the Titan. He turned and shot his 3DMG again landing his hook in the thickest part of the Titan's thigh this time. Levi barely landed on his feet before the belts holding his 3DMG failed and it all fell to the ground. He dropped the blade handles to the ground. When the Titan's body hit the ground next to the river, there was a series of crunching sounds from all of its joints collapsing.

Levi knelt down and stared at the ground breathing heavily. Red colored his vision, but it could have just been the flare. Heat and pain were radiating in his back. With closed eyes, he reached behind him and felt bare skin and hot blood. One of his finger tips grazed the cut and he hissed. The Titan's nail had cut through his uniform and then his skin. 

“Get up,” Levi said to himself. “Stand the fuck up.” Levi put his feet properly under him again. He stood upright and tried to look up the Wall, but his head swam. Steam was covering his vision. When he pulled his hand away from his back, his hand and arm were drenched in blood. In the distance, Levi heard the screaming of the humans on the ground with him. Before he could turn to look, he fell face down into the dirt. The last thing he heard was Hange screaming his name.


	3. Chapter 3

Levi opened his eyes and blinked rapidly. He was laying on his stomach and he could see Erwin sitting in a chair directly in front of him.

“Can you hear me, Levi?” Erwin asked loudly. 

“Tch,” Levi winced. “Not so fucking loud.” Levi shut his eyes tightly.

“Don't move too much. You'll pop your stitches.” Erwin spoke softly now. Levi didn't know what Erwin was talking about. He closed his eyes. “Drink some water,” Erwin ordered. Levi opened his eyes and saw a water cup being held in front of him. It was filled to the brim. Pain rushed through his head when he lifted it from the pillow, but he took a few precious drops of liquid from the cup.

Levi dropped his head back down and reached around with his left hand. He felt a huge bandage on his back. 

“Shit,” Levi breathed.

“You're in hospital in Shinganshina,” Erwin said. “Levi, I'm only here because I wanted to tell you myself what I told the Commander.” 

“Tell me later,” Levi's groaned. Lights were flashing in front of his eyes from the terrible pain in his head.

“I'll make it short. I suggested he ground you from expeditions for the next three months and put you on suicide watch for one month. Despite your direct violation of orders, he seemed to understand your thought process somehow, and in his unusual benevolence, he decided that you having to recover was a long enough punishment.” Erwin stood from the chair. 

“Thanks for taking my side,” Levi snapped. His head was hurting, but he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

“I have no use for a soldier that can't follow orders,” Erwin said as he walked away. Levi heard the door open and close. 

Hange moved into Levi's sight and she knelt down next to his bed side. 

“That was cruel,” Hange whispered. “Are you in pain, Levi?”

“Did they live?” 

“Who?” 

“Whoever was carrying the torch,” Levi snapped. 

"You're really lucid for someone who has been given so much pain medicine, Levi," Hange said. "Do you want me to see if they'll give you more?" 

"Hange," Levi protested. Hange shook her head sadly and was very reluctant to tell him.

“They didn't live,” Hange said finally. Levi closed his eyes and he couldn't hide the pain that flashed over his face. Hange put her hand on top of Levi's. 

“But I killed the Titan,” he argued. 

“They were Titan worshipers. I thought they were all gone, but I guess, there were some left.” 

“But I killed the Titan,” Levi repeated. “So how did they die?” Hange took a big breath and released it to prepare herself for what she was about to say. 

“When the Titan fell, it appears they both crawled into its open mouth and slit their own throats.” Levi's frowned. “Erwin took command when you were injured, and we had to abandon the mission for the night. We didn't find them until morning came, and the Titan had fully disintegrated. But we also found the tools they used to climb the wall, and we think there are more people who have plans to do the same thing. In fact, we don't think these people were the first to make it over the Wall. So the Garrison has gained knowledge of that technology now, and they are going to change their patrols to look for more violators.” 

“Idiots,” Levi breathed. “They could've done their job right the first fucking time.” 

“I'm sorry, Levi,” Hange said. 

“I fucked up,” Levi said. Hange knew there was an apology in there somewhere.

“No,” Hange said. “You really didn't. When you were stabilized, we went back to investigate the missing humans. I was able to see the sun rise with the Titans.” 

“Did you learn anything?” 

“No,” Hange smiled. “But it was very neat to watch all of them stand up to greet the sun. I cried. I also found your notes in your uniform. They were very helpful. And your handwriting is as pretty as I remember.” Levi tried to sit up. 

“Don't do that,” Hange said quickly. “You actually do have stitches.” 

“How bad was it?”

“The cut starts around the back on your left rib cage, and it goes all the way down to your lower back. It wasn't deep enough to hit your kidney or spine. The deepest part is where the initial contact was, and the cut thins out as it goes. You must have recoiled from it. If the Titan had hit you with any other nail besides the smallest one, well,” Hange didn't finish her thought. “Can you take a deep breath?” Levi breathed in and released it. 

“Yeah.” 

“They were worried about fractured ribs, but if you can breathe that deeply then you should be okay,” Hange smiled. “I want to tell you that I know Erwin seems to be unnecessarily harsh right now, but he's the one who picked you up from the ground. So you probably just worried him, and he's lashing out.” Levi didn't feel like commenting on the subject. "I mean it was pretty scary to see you like that, Levi. There was so much blood." 

“What time is it?” 

“Umm,” Hange looked over at the clock. “It's 9 AM. I have to go.” Hange patted Levi's hand and she stood. “Recover quickly, Levi. I'll be back to tomorrow.” Levi looked at his hand where Hange had touched him. He heard Hange walk out of the door and close it. 

Levi clenched his hand into a fist. He bent his knees and lifted his legs into the air to wiggle his toes. They were fine. There wasn't any pressure or discomfort in his knees. Levi wiggled all of his fingers and bent and extended his elbows. All of his limbs were fine but stiff. 

Levi put his hands under him and tried to lift up. Pain shot through his ribs and down his back. With a cry, Levi fell back down into the bed. The pain made his eyes roll, and he swallowed heavily. Moving had caused the entire wound to flare with hot pain, but the idea of laying in bed was more uncomfortable than any pain. He could admit he needed help this time. 

“Hey!” Levi called out. No response. “Somebody get your ass in here!” The door opened. 

“Yes, sir!” a female voice responded. 

“I have to piss,” Levi said. 

“You have a catheter in, sir,” the woman informed him gently. “You're not supposed to move at all today.” Levi rolled his eyes. 

“I want water,” Levi said. 

“Alright,” the young woman said with obvious pity in her voice. That enraged Levi, but he needed her help. The nurse brought the cup to his lips, and he lifted his head enough to drink. After several large swallows, Levi laid his head back down and rubbed his lips together. 

“Would you like some food, sir?” 

“No.” 

“Let me know if you want something, okay?” Levi didn't respond. When he heard the door close behind her, Levi wanted to try and sit up again. Hesitation set in when he thought about the pain he had felt only minutes earlier. 

Sleep would have been a welcome distraction, but it wouldn't come to him. As Levi's mind roamed, he thought about what Erwin had said to him. Even if he had defied an order, he honestly believed Erwin would understand. Their job was to protect people from Titans, and that was their number one objective at all times. Erwin's degradation had been so cruel that even Hange softened in its presence. 

The entire day was full of Levi only being able to think about Erwin's strange behavior and gaining the strength to finally get out of bed.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning Hange burst through the door to Levi's room. Levi looked behind him and saw her. Hange shut the door. 

“How are you today,” Hange asked. 

“Get me out of here,” Levi demanded. 

“Let me see.” Hange walked over to Levi and leaned over him. Gently, Hange pulled a corner of the bandage back to look at Levi's wound. The gauze pulled on a stitch and Levi cursed under his breath. The bandage had not been changed since Levi was put in his room. Hange felt rage surge through her body.

“Have you been able to sit up?” Hange asked. 

“Not yet,” Levi said. 

“Roll over slowly, and let me do most of the work,” she instructed. Levi rolled onto his right side. Nausea clenched in Levi's stomach, but he had been able to roll over without much trouble. When it looked like he was ready, Hange guided him to sit up. Levi winced but he didn't cry out this time. Hange took her hands away from him a few inches to see if he could sit up on his own. He pulled the hospital sheet up to cover his bare lower half. He did peek under the blanket to see the catheter though. Hange dropped her hands.

“They aren't taking care of you,” Hange said bluntly. She left the room and slammed the door behind her. Down the hall, Levi heard Hange yelling, but he couldn't make out the words. 

Nurses opened the door and bustled into the room and began pulling at the bandage with many apologies. A doctor shuffled into the room followed by a very irritated Hange. 

“Hello, Mr. Ackerman,” the doctor said nervously. “This gentleman says that you're ready to go home.”

“Yeah,” Levi said. 

“I can't release you until I think you're ready, sir,” the doctor said. 

“Take a look at it then,” Levi said. The nurses moved back for the doctor when they had finished uncovering Levi's wound. After a minute of the doctor gently touching Levi's stitches, he stood up straight. 

“The shallow part of the cut is already healing, but in your back, where the cut is deepest, has a long way to go, sir. I simply cannot sign your release form until you've healed more,” the doctor said. 

“Turn him over to a soldier's doctor then,” Hange insisted

“That's just not possible,” the doctor said. “You can't even walk out of the building.”

“The government that is paying you says that it's possible,” Levi said. The doctor looked at Levi, and his faced contorted to fear when he saw Levi's eyes. “Sign the papers.” The doctor's eyes narrowed.

"I'll sign if you can walk out on your own feet," the doctor said.

Ten minutes later, Hange walked slowly with Levi as they exited the hospital. 

“I brought a wagon for you,” Hange said cheerfully. Her usual demeanor had returned as soon as Levi had begun walking towards the exit. She had his transfer paperwork folded up in her back pocket.

“Good. My dick hurts,” Levi complained. 

“I'm not surprised,” Hange said. “Leaving you in a poor hospital like this was a mistake. Understaffed,” Hange scoffed. 

“They also called you a man,” Levi said. 

“I don't care,” she said confidently. Levi was holding his left side with his right arm when he walked. Hange had brought a shirt for Levi to wear on the way home. His uniform shirt and jacket had been ruined, but his pants had been salvaged even if they were permanently stained. 

When Levi looked into the wagon, he saw Hange had made a thick pallet for him on top of a stretcher. Hange lowered the tail gate of the wagon.

“Let me help,” Hange said. After Levi had turned his back to the tail gate, he braced his hands on the wagon. Hange knelt and gave Levi's feet a boost off the ground. A groan rumbled from his throat when he had to bend his body to sit on the tail gate. Hange put a hand on his shoulder and waited while he caught his breath. With a turn, Levi rolled over on his stomach and crawled onto the pallet. Levi laid down on his stomach and released a heavy breath. The majority of the pain centered around his ribs now. Once she had closed the tail gate of the wagon, Hange mounted the horse. 

“We're going slow,” Hange said. “If I hit a bump, don't tense up.” Hange cracked the horse reigns and they began their journey back to Survey Corps headquarters.


	5. Chapter 5

Hange drove the wagon up to the officers' quarters. She dismounted the horse, and Moblit and Heinz were waiting outside the open door of the officers' quarters for them. 

“Heinz!” Hange called. 

“Right!” Heinz ran in the direction of the medical bay to get the doctor. Moblit approached the wagon and lowered the tail gate. He grabbed one of the handles of the stretcher and pulled it through the bed of the wagon. Once the handles hung off the edge he grabbed them, and pulled until Hange could reach the other handles. Together Hange and Moblit lifted Levi from the wagon. 

Once they carried him inside, he was a bit surprised they didn't take him upstairs, and instead they took him to the room Mike had been using downstairs. Hange and Moblit lowered the stretcher to the floor in Levi's newest room assignment next to the bed. 

“Thank you, Moblit,” Hange said. 

“Yes, Squad Leader,” he said. At first, Moblit lingered as if he would say something to Levi, but he decided not to. Hange smiled at him. Moblit saluted and left the room to get back to work. 

“Is it the cut, or is it bone pain?” Hange asked. Levi shook his head. 

“It's just the cut.”

“You're on the bottom floor now. Mike moved into the room you had been using, but he didn't touch your things,” Hange said. “Stairs would be difficult for now.” 

“Right,” Levi said. Even though that made logical sense, the idea occurred to Levi that Erwin had purposely put distance between them. Levi lifted his legs to hold his feet up. 

“Hange,” Levi said. “Before I have to get up, would you take my boots off so they don't soil the bed?” 

“Of course,” Hange said. Carefully she removed Levi's boots and sat them in front of his wardrobe. 

“Thank you,” Levi breathed. With help from Hange, Levi was able to lift up enough to sit on the bed. Sweat covered his brow. Even though he knew he would have to take off his shirt to be examined, Levi's arms felt heavy. Hange squatted in front of him and worked the buttons on his shirt until they were all free. 

The doctor ran through the front door of the officers' quarters and slammed it behind her.

“Squad Leader,” she called. 

“In here,” Hange called cheerfully. She stood after the last button had been pulled. The doctor ran into the room. “Hello, Hasret,” Hange smiled.

“Hi,” she said before she walked over to Levi. He had just finished pulling off his shirt, and he draped it on the bed. Hasret began to try and help Levi lay down. He held up a hand. 

“I can do it,” Levi insisted. Hasret lifted her hands apologetically. Levi turned and laid down on the bed so Hasret could look at his back. He turned his head and faced the wall. It made Hange feel special to know that Levi had allowed her to help him so much only to refuse help from someone he didn't know as well. 

“Where's your bandage?” Hasret asked. 

“When I went to see him, the bandage they put on him right after they put in the stitches was still on it. It was filthy. I refused to let them bandage him again.” 

“Would you get me a bucket of water please, Squad Leader?” 

“Absolutely,” Hange walked out of the room and down the hall. Hasret took her time and looked at the long slice and pattern of stitches down Levi's back. She even stood from the bed and leaned over his body so she could see the entire thing. 

“Say something,” Levi said. 

“Well,” Hasret said. “I wish you would've been able to get to us. The skin has scabbed fine in some places, but whoever did the sewing pulled too much skin in some areas. I'm worried about that.” Hasret shook her head. “Your scar is going to look weird,” she said. “Other than that it looks irritated from being dirty and you moving too much.” 

Hange walked back in the door with a bucket of water and a rag. Hasret dipped the tip of the rag in the water and began gently dabbing at the parts of Levi's wound that were dirtiest. Once she was finished, Hasret thoroughly dried the area and applied new bandages. 

“They didn't clean it properly,” Hange said. “At the hospital. There weren't enough staff.” Hasret nodded. 

“It's probably the best Shiganshina can do though,” she said. “We'll take better care of you here. You actually should have brought him directly to the medical bay, Squad Leader.” 

“We have plenty of help here,” Hange said. 

"Alright," Hasret said. Part of her was grateful that she wouldn't have to take care of the surly Team Leader Levi. 

“I'll come in later today and check on you, but right now you need to rest.” 

“When can the stitches come out?” Levi asked. 

“Three days maybe,” Hasret said. “But that's if you can stay horizontal except to eat and use the bathroom.” 

“Whatever it takes,” Hange said happily. “Right, Levi?” Levi felt grateful to Hange for bringing him home. 

“Sure,” Levi said. 

“Alright,” Hasret said. She stood and left the room. 

“Can I get you something before I get back to work?” Hange walked closer to Levi so she could hear him. 

“Something to read,” Levi said. 

“And water too,” Hange offered. Levi heard her boots on the floor when Hange left the room. Levi stared at the wall. He tried to think of nothing, but he could only think of Erwin. It felt strange to be in a room so far away. The room Levi had been using was rightfully Mike's room, and he reminded himself of that. 

When Hange came back in the room, Levi turned his head so he could see what Hange was doing. Hange set two books on the nightstand. Levi recognized the titles. 

“From Erwin's room?” 

“He won't mind,” Hange said. “I borrow them sometimes.” Hange tried to set two pitchers and a cup on the nightstand too, but they would barely fit. She took the books from the nightstand and set them on the bed in front of Levi's face. The smell of Erwin's room, cigarettes and the blonde man, hit Levi's nose. Levi lifted his hand and set it on top of the books. 

Hange poured some water in a cup and held it out for Levi to take. Then she saw Levi's hand was already occupied, so she set the cup on the nightstand instead. 

“Drink when you can, okay?” Hange smiled. “It's going to be annoying to get up and pee though. Ask Hasret for a pee pot when she comes back tonight if you can't stand the walk down the hallway.” 

“Right,” Levi said. 

“Do you want lunch?” 

“No.” 

“Okay,” Hange said. “I'll bring your supper later then with some tea. I'm glad your home, Levi.” Hange patted his hand again as she had the day before. She left the room and closed the door behind her to give Levi some peace. 

Instead of opening one of the books, Levi rested his forehead against the spines. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about how displaced he felt.


	6. Chapter 6

When Erwin was walking back to the officers' quarters for the night, he saw Hasret leave the building. 

“Hasret,” Erwin called. She stopped and turned around with a big smile on her face. 

“Hello, Squad Leader,” she said. Erwin approached her and looked directly in her chocolate eyes. The Squad Leaders abrupt and deep gaze set Hasret off balance for a moment.

“Is someone ill?” 

“Oh no,” Hasret smiled. “Squad Leader Hange brought Team Leader Levi home from the hospital today.”

“Ah,” Erwin said. Even though he felt surprised, he controlled his facial expression. The creeping suspicion that Levi had thrown a fit at the hospital came to mind. “Did something happen?” 

“The hospital is understaffed, and they were having trouble keeping up with his wound maintenance. So it's a good thing that Squad Leader went to collect him.” 

“It is,” Erwin nodded with understanding. “So what's Levi's condition then?” 

“He's fine,” she said. Hasret waved. “May I be excused? I have a few more stops to make before my day is done.” 

“Of course,” Erwin smiled and nodded. He denied the part of him that wanted to pry for more information.

“Good night,” she said. Hasret turned and walked away. Erwin turned to the door and opened it. When he closed it behind him, he went directly to the kitchen. Mike was seated at the kitchen table eating bread. 

“Did Hasret catch you up?” Mike asked. 

“Yes,” Erwin said. Erwin walked to the counter and put a steamed potato on his plate. When he sat down, he sliced through the potato with the edge of his fork. 

“Hange let him borrow some of your books.” Erwin took a bite and nodded. Mike felt a sigh rising in his chest, and he refused to let it out. They sat in silence while Erwin ate. Mike only picked at the bread in front of him instead of eating. Erwin finished his potato and stood to put his dishes in the sink. 

“You should go talk to him,” Mike finally said. 

“Should is a very judgmental word, Mike.” 

“Hange is in there right now,” Mike argued. “Go offer him a cigarette or something.”

“Has he asked for one?” 

“I don't know,” Mike said. 

“Then he probably doesn't want one,” Erwin said while he walked towards the kitchen door. 

“Hey,” Mike said roughly. Erwin turned and pierced Mike with his gaze. The natural, intense energy that radiated from Erwin had strengthened lately. Mike felt like backing off, but he knew he couldn't. “There's no sense in both of you suffering.” Erwin turned and walked out of the kitchen. 

Mike finally released the long irritated sigh he had been holding. He melted into the chair until he slouched. 

“Dramabrows,” Mike muttered.

Erwin walked up the stairs and thought about what Mike said. It was an easy way to get close to Levi again, and he probably would want a cigarette if one was around. Before Erwin reached his bedroom door, he stopped and stared at the floor. 

The memory of Levi's blood soaked body returned to him. That small body felt so weak and heavy in his arms. It clouded the memories he had of Levi when he came alive during their time together. Erwin walked to his door and turned the knob. He shut the door behind him a little heavier than he intended. 

He crossed the room and sat on the edge of his bed to take his boots off. When he leaned over, he stared at the toes of his boots instead of moving to take them off. Erwin lifted a hand and rested his forehead in it. He couldn't go.


	7. Chapter 7

The sixth day after Hange had brought Levi home, Hasret walked through Levi's bedroom door. She was surprised to find him sitting up in bed reading. 

“Good morning,” she said. 

“You don't knock?” 

“You don't have anything I haven't seen.” She closed the door behind her. “How do you feel since we took the stitches out?” 

“Good,” Levi said. He closed his book and looked up. 

“You're a fairly easy patient,” Hasret commented. “Your recovery has been surprisingly fast.”

“Can I go back to work now?” 

“Do you have any pain?” 

“No,” Levi said. 

“You can't do any heavy lifting or use 3DMG for another two weeks.” 

“I'll miss the expedition,” Levi said. Hasret shrugged. 

“It can't be helped,” she said. “Every one misses at least one in their lifetime.” Levi didn't like that answer. 

“So what can I do?” 

“You supervise the maintenance crew right? I know you're active, but just try supervising for a few days.” Levi nodded and stood out of bed. “Take it slow too,” Hasret warned. She turned and opened the door. “If you start hurting, do not keep working. Come and lay back down.” 

“Alright,” Levi said dismissively. Hasret smiled and left the room closing the door behind her. Levi dressed for the day and felt like he could run out of the officers' quarters. Having books to read was great, but staring at the walls was killing him. 

Levi pulled his boots on quickly and walked out of his bedroom slamming the door behind him. He stopped by the kitchen and grabbed a piece of bread to eat while he walked to work.


	8. Chapter 8

Levi felt energized for the first time since he had been injured. The long day of work and being around other soldiers had helped lift his spirits. Of course, the look on his face was the same. 

When Levi walked in the kitchen for supper, Hange was sitting at the table. 

“How was your first day back?” she asked. 

“Good,” Levi said. He grabbed a piece of bacon and bit it without bothering to take a plate. 

“Are you able to go on the expedition?” 

“Not according to Hasret,” Levi said. 

“You shouldn't if that's the case,” Hange frowned. “Oh, hey! Mike, Nanaba, Moblit, and I are going out drinking tonight. Do you want to go for a little while? You don't have to stay all night. I'll walk you back home when you're ready.” 

“No,” Levi said simply. Hange gritted her teeth. 

“Flagon is going,” she said. “I was hoping you would come.” 

“Why?” 

“Because he doesn't like you, and I don't want him to have a good time,” Hange said resentfully. 

“Why do you hate him so much?” 

“I don't hate him.” 

“So what then?” 

“He's just so weird, Levi,” Hange said. “I don't know why Mike even invited him.” Levi looked at Hange with a raised eyebrow. The front door opened and shut. 

“Hange,” Mike called.

“Coming,” Hange called. She stood from her chair. “Get some rest, Levi.” Levi nodded. 

“Take a shot for me,” he said. Hange smiled widely. 

“I will!” she said with determination. Mike walked into the kitchen and saw Levi. 

“Hange,” Mike said. “I forgot something in my room.” 

“I'll wait with Levi,” Hange said. 

“Run fast, Mike,” Levi said. Mike laughed and turned to walk over to the stairs. He didn't run, but he had a single determination. Mike walked up to Erwin's door and knocked. He waited only a few seconds before knocking again. 

“Erwin,” Mike said quietly. The door opened and Mike walked in closing the door behind him. When he looked at Erwin, he clenched his jaw. Erwin was only in his sleeping pants and had an open bottle of clear liquor his nightstand. He looked tired, but he was actually only drunk. There wasn't any light in his room except for his fireplace. 

“Are you actually doing this,” Mike accused. 

“I need to sleep,” Erwin insisted

“Look,” Mike's voice had a little more force in it than Erwin used to hearing. “I am not following a drunkard to my death. Get your shit together.” Erwin felt shock hit his chest. Mike couldn't stand to look at his weakened hero. He turned and opened Erwin's bedroom door to step out before slammed it behind him. 

Mike descended the stairs and walked into the kitchen. He grabbed the babbling Hange by her arm and began leading her away. 

“Mike!” Hange screamed in protest. “Bye, Levi!” she called as Mike led her away. Levi smiled. 

“Levi,” Mike leaned his head in back in through the kitchen door. “Erwin says he'll give you a cigarette if you go get it.” Mike turned and walked towards the front door pushing Hange in front of him this time. When the front door closed behind them, Hange smiled. Mike stopped pushing her and they walked side by side towards the bar. After they had walked far enough away from headquarters to be out of earshot from anyone, Hange looked up at Mike in the darkness. 

“You didn't get anything out of your room,” Hange grinned. 

“You don't know,” Mike said. That sentence had more than one meaning. 

“I hope they start talking again too,” Hange said. “Meetings are strained already with the limp dick Commander we have.” 

“Hange,” Mike chided. 

“I wouldn't say it in front of anyone else, Mike.” Mike wrapped an arm around Hange's shoulders and pulled her closer while they walked.

“Let's see if we can get Flagon to piss his pants again,” Mike said. 

“I want to see Moblit drunk,” Hange said. 

“If you stress him out, I bet he'll drink more,” Mike offered. 

“How can I do that?” 

“He seems to be really afraid of Titans. Tell him about the time you used 3DMG to high-five that Titan who ran with its hands in the air,” Mike laughed. Hange laughed along with him and nodded. 

“I love that story!”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Pairing for this Chapter:
> 
> [Tautou - Brand New](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9d164fwsSA) (YouTube Link)

Levi ate a potato before he went upstairs. He thought about bringing hot water, but Erwin had not invited him to stay. Only the cigarette had been offered. 

When Erwin thought he heard footsteps, he took a quick swallow of whiskey and hid the open bottle in the wardrobe. Levi knocked on the door. Erwin took his cigarette tin and took a cigarette and a match out. He held them gently in his hand while he opened the door. 

“Yes,” Erwin said. His speech was slurred. Levi tilted his head slightly. Erwin's eyes were glassy, and he looked tired. Levi caught a whiff of alcohol. 

“I'm here for-” Levi started. Erwin held the cigarette and match out for Levi to take. He had guessed correctly what Mike would do. After glancing down at Erwin's hand, Levi pushed his way past Erwin and into the bedroom. Erwin didn't put up any resistance and closed the door. Levi looked around the room. “I don't have an ashtray,” Levi said. He didn't see a bottle anywhere. There a slight pause in his step when he saw Erwin's chair back in its usual place. 

“You can take mine,” Erwin said. “I'll ash out the window.” 

“Yeah,” Levi said. Erwin didn't make a move to go to the nightstand for the ashtray. Levi walked over to the nightstand, and he opened the wardrobe on his way over. 

“Don't” Erwin said. Levi reached in the wardrobe and pulled out the liquor bottle. It had quite a bit left in it. A single sniff of the top of the bottle was enough for Levi to know it was pure grain alcohol. There was plenty left in the bottle, but Levi was surprised that Erwin was still lucid. 

“Drinking alone.” Levi accused. “And also hiding it.” He looked at Erwin with uncertainty. Erwin put the cigarette between his lips and struck the match against the door frame. He lit the cigarette and shook the match out. Just to spite Levi, Erwin tossed the spent match in the trash can.

“Not very Commanderly of you,” Levi commented. Erwin breathed smoke out. “If that's what you still want.” 

“I do,” Erwin said. 

“So you're just pretending to be an idiot for a while to see what it's like?” 

“No.” 

“Because the last time you thought that I was being an idiot, you had no patience for it,” Levi snapped. 

“I know,” Erwin said. Levi walked up to Erwin looked up into his eyes.

“Erwin,” Levi said. Erwin looked down at Levi. “You know I've been cut before. So this time was no different.” Erwin nodded. 

“It was different,” Erwin insisted.

“So you have been avoiding me,” Levi said. 

“I scared myself."

“How?” Erwin dragged on the cigarette again and let the smoke flow out of his nose. 

“I was a little more than upset when I met with the Commander,” Erwin said. “It's true that I can't use a soldier that won't follow orders, but I was mostly offended that it had been you. I lost my temper in front of Hange and the Commander.” Levi crossed his arms and thought about what Erwin was saying. The speech Erwin had used was purposely vague because he needed to see how Levi would interpret it. After Levi sorted through his thoughts, he nodded. 

“I understand,” Levi said. 

“Explain it so I know you understand,” Erwin instructed. 

“You're so sure that my trust won't waver,” Levi said. “So when I violated an order it might have seemed as if I didn't trust you anymore. I understand your response.” Erwin knew that Levi had no idea what he was actually trying to say. At first, Erwin thought about correcting him. The possibility of a loss of trust had frightened him, but it was quickly followed by another, much more terrifying revelation. His feelings for Levi had changed. Erwin adored Levi. 

“You're right,” Erwin said. It would be wrong to take advantage of this situation. They were both too raw. The whole truth could wait. 

“Then you took the correct action,” Levi said. “There's no need to explain that to me. Now that I'm here, I can tell you that I still trust you, Erwin. I'm still your soldier.” Erwin gave Levi a weak smile. Levi didn't return the gesture, but he did uncross his arms. 

“Good,” Erwin said. 

“So,” Levi said. “I'll take a cigarette and let you get some rest. I'll be taking the liquor too though. I obviously need it more than you.” Erwin laughed. 

“I don't mind if you stay and smoke here,” Erwin said. Without response, Levi turned and walked across to Erwin's nightstand. He grabbed the cigarette tin and ashtray. Erwin sat on the side of the couch closest to the table. Levi put the ashtray in the middle of the couch and sat on the other side. 

When Levi lit his cigarette, he released the smoke out of his mouth and inhaled the smoke again slowly into his nose. Erwin watched and smiled. 

“Watch,” Erwin said. He inhaled from his cigarette and blew several smoke rings on the exhale. 

“Who taught you that?” 

“I learned from a cadet while we were in training,” Erwin said. “I did it for Hange one time, and she'll still ask me to do it occasionally. I've refused to do it anymore because she put her finger in my mouth last time.” 

“Did you bite her finger?” 

“Yes,” Erwin laughed. “I didn't draw blood, but she was really sad about it.” 

“So she was drunk then,” Levi said. Erwin nodded with a smile. 

“I was too,” Erwin said. “That's probably why I bit her. Mike laughed so hard I thought he would piss himself.” Levi laughed and Erwin crushed his cigarette in the ashtray. Hearing Levi laugh again made him so happy. 

“Have you had any water?” 

“Not yet,” Erwin said. 

“You need some,” Levi laid his cigarette in the ashtray. He stood and exited the room. Erwin glanced at Levi's ass as he left. 

Levi walked next door and opened the door to Mike's room. He went to the wardrobe and pulled the doors open. The room looked foreign with a bed in it now. The pillow case was untouched in the same place Levi had left it. He grabbed it and closed the wardrobe. 

Levi left Mike's room and closed the door behind him. He descended the stairs and passed the kitchen. When Levi arrived at his bedroom door, he opened it. Levi set the pillowcase of his things on the bed and looked in it. He saw his cleaning handkerchief and pulled it out. After folding it, Levi put it in his pants pocket. 

Levi left his room and stopped by the kitchen for a pitcher of water and a single glass. When he returned to Erwin's room, he thought Erwin was sleeping because his head was leaned back. Erwin lifted his head and opened his eyes to look at Levi. 

Levi closed the door behind him and poured Erwin a glass of water. He handed him the full glass and set the pitcher on the table. 

“Thank you,” Erwin said. He took the glass and drank a few gulps of the water. As he was drinking, Levi began unbuckling his belt. Watching Levi's hands move over his belt scared Erwin, and he swallowed hard before putting the glass down. Levi pulled his belt free from his pants and leaned towards the firelight to look at it. “What are you doing?” 

“I have an idea,” Levi said. He leaned towards the fire light to look closer at his belt. Erwin didn't catch on, but he couldn't look away. Levi leaned down and pulled his knife out of his boot. “Help me,” Levi said. 

“Alright,” Erwin said hesitantly. Levi offered the belt to Erwin. Erwin took it. 

“Wrap it around my wrists,” Levi put his wrists together and held his arms out. Erwin smiled and wrapped Levi's belt through the buckle. He pulled the belt until the buckle rested against Levi's wrists. “Make a mark with the knife for where the prongs are going to go.” Levi flipped his knife around in his fingers and offered it to Erwin. Erwin took the knife from Levi and looked closely at where the prong would go. He pulled a little farther. 

“Too tight?” 

“No,” Levi said. Erwin pressed the knife in the back of the belt twice where the prongs would have to go for Levi's wrists to be bound. The first layer of leather spread so smoothly against the blade that Erwin was surprised at the knife's sharpness. Not all of Levi's old habits had died now that he was on the surface. 

When he was satisfied with the beginner marks, he released the belt and Levi wriggled his hands free. Erwin flipped the knife around and offered the handle back to Levi. Levi sat on the couch next to Erwin and took the knife. He began pressing his knife in the marks that Erwin had made. It didn't take long for Levi to see the tip of the knife pop through the leather. Levi put his knife on his leg and tested pushing the one of the prongs through the new hole. It was still too small and Levi picked the knife back up to press harder and twist. When Levi tested the hole again, the prong slipped through easily and held tightly. The new hole in the leather wasn't pretty work, but for improvising, it would do the job. He repeated the action for the second new hole in his belt.

“Levi,” Erwin said. Levi looked up and met Erwin's gaze. Erwin's breath caught in his throat when he looked into Levi's gray eyes. “This isn't necessary.” 

“I'm going to give you control again,” Levi said simply. 

“Right, but,” Erwin paused. "There are others ways to achieve that."

“Erwin,” Levi said. “I'm still considered injured right?” 

“Yes.” 

“I want to be fucked,” Levi's tone was firm, and arousal made Erwin swallow hard. “But if I have full range of motion, then I could make my injury worse.” Erwin's blue eyes were focused on Levi. A single nod from Erwin proved to Levi that they were on the same page now. Levi looked back down at the belt and tucked his knife back into his boot. Levi rolled up the belt and set it between them on the couch next to the ashtray. His cigarette had stopped burning, and he didn't feel like finishing it. 

Leaning down, Levi took his boots off and put them to the side. He stood, took the handkerchief out of his pocket and set it on Erwin's leg. Erwin picked up the handkerchief and looked at it. When Levi stood, Erwin looked back at him. Levi casually undressed and folded each piece of clothing to lay on the couch behind him. Erwin's mouth watered when he saw Levi's skin being revealed in front of him. It didn't take Levi nearly as long to undress as usual because he had not been able to put on his harness yet. The newest mark on Levi's back looked better than Erwin expected. 

Levi walked over to Erwin and put his wrists together. Erwin looked to the belt next to him. At first he wasn't even sure he wanted Levi bound, but with automatic action, Erwin took the belt in his hands and unrolled it. He wrapped it around Levi's wrists and slid the belt slowly through the buckle. The prongs slid through the holes Levi had made easily. Erwin put a finger between the belt and one of Levi's wrists to test the tightness. It was perfect. The length of the belt that wasn't secured hung under Levi's wrists down to his hips. 

With the handkerchief in hand, Erwin stood and looked down at at Levi. He lifted his right hand and put it on the side of Levi's face. Levi leaned into the hand to Erwin's surprise. Unable to wait any longer, Erwin leaned down and their lips met. Levi had leaned up on his toes to try and meet him halfway. Their mouths opened and their tongues melted together. Levi reached out with his bound hands and put a single fingertip on Erwin's skin just to feel him again. Erwin put his hand behind Levi's head and held him in place. Slowly Levi dragged his fingertip down Erwin's abs and to the waist of the gray sleeping pants. He ran his finger along the soft skin of Erwin's hips. They kissed until their mouths were wet and swollen. Levi was breathing heavily and he was now fully erect.

When Erwin broke the kiss he looked down at the handkerchief in his hand. He unfolded it and then took two of the ends that were diagonal to each other in each hand. After he twisted the handkerchief he swung the fabric in the air to make all of the loose ends roll together. Levi opened his mouth. 

“If you want to stop-” Erwin began. 

“Don't give me the option,” Levi interrupted. “I won't need it.” Levi opened his mouth again and waited while maintaining complete eye contact with Erwin. The look in his eyes made Erwin's cock swell. Erwin put the center of the handkerchief in Levi's mouth. Levi closed his mouth and clamped his teeth around it. He lowered his head so Erwin could see to tie it in place. After tying the handkerchief in place, he and lifted Levi's chin and put his pinky finger between the corner of Levi's mouth and the handkerchief. It wasn't so tight it would leave marks, but the fabric didn't give much under pressure.

“Is it too close to the back of your throat?” Levi shook his head. Without a word, Erwin reached down and quickly grabbed Levi's hard cock in his hand. Levi gasped and Erwin waited to see if he choked. It seemed he had no problem breathing past the cloth. Erwin moved his hand up and down Levi's cock slowly. Levi wavered a bit, and Erwin steadied him by putting his left hand on the side of Levi's face. His thumb trailed down Levi's cheek and flicked his bottom lip. 

Closing his eyes, Levi leaned into Erwin's hand. He swayed with Erwin's hand moving up and down his cock. Because he was standing up, he couldn't lean into Erwin's hand, but he tried anyway. Erwin bent down and kissed Levi's neck at first, but then he moved down to the curve where Levi's neck met his shoulder. Erwin opened his mouth and sucked on Levi's skin. He put his teeth to Levi's skin and Levi moaned when Erwin bit him. Without stopping the movement of his hand, Erwin bit Levi until he thought the skin would break. The growl that ripped from Levi's throat vibrated in Erwin's ear. Releasing the bite, Erwin stood up and took his hand from Levi's cock. 

Levi eyes were so heavy they almost closed, and he almost lost his balance. His head was swimming. Naturally, Erwin steadied him before he could fall backwards. Erwin leaned past Levi, pulled the sheet off the bed and threw it on the floor. 

“Lay down,” Erwin muttered. Levi backed up to the sheet and Erwin helped him get down to the floor. Levi laid down and held his bound hands to his chest. Erwin walked over to the wardrobe and opened it. He reached to the back of the top shelf and grabbed the glass bottle of Aloe Vera. When he pulled the bottle out to the light, he looked at it. There was still half a bottle left. After closing the wardrobe, Erwin had a thought, and he also grabbed the alcohol from the nightstand. Levi watched him and had a bad feeling about the alcohol. 

Erwin put both of the bottles within his reach and knelt down in front of Levi. Erwin grabbed the loose part of the belt and lifted Levi's hands to lay on the floor above Levi's head.

“Keep them up there,” Erwin ordered. Supporting himself with his hands, Erwin lowered his face to Levi's body. He began kissing and licking Levi's skin again. Levi's hips were writhing with anticipation for what Erwin would do. Even though Levi seemed eager as always, Erwin intended to take all the time he wanted. He kissed down Levi's neck. The bite mark on the other side of Levi's neck was already swollen and red. 

Erwin felt Levi's feet on his the skin of his hips. Levi was pulling at the waistband of Erwin's pants with his toes trying to pull them off. 

“Have patience,” Erwin whispered. His hot tongue pressed against the skin of Levi's chest. When he felt hands pushing at his feet, Levi lowered his legs and his feet found the sheet under him. His cock was so hard that it hurt, and his toes curled. Erwin moved down Levi's body and ran his tongue across one of Levi's nipples before taking it in his mouth to suck. A quick breath rushed through Levi's throat and was stopped by the rag. Levi's couldn't stop his hips from rising trying to get to Erwin. He wanted to be fucked so badly. It wasn't usual for Erwin to move so slowly. Levi thought it must be because he was a little drunk. The rough edges of teeth pressed against Levi's nipple, and a groaned rumbled in his throat.

Erwin was fascinated by Levi's responsiveness to what he was doing. Even if he wasn't directly stimulating the parts of Levi that he wanted to touch the most, Levi behaved as if Erwin was absolutely torturing him. Erwin dragged his tongue from one side of Levi's chest to the other and began sucking on the other nipple. Levi's eyes widened with the long lick, and he felt frustration rising in his back bone. It felt like Erwin was spreading fire in his body. Shaking with anticipation and excitement, Levi gnawed on the handkerchief in his mouth so much he thought it would rip between his teeth. The rag was already heavy in his mouth from all the saliva it had absorbed.

Erwin kissed down Levi's stomach and wrapped his hand around Levi's left side. His tongue ran around the rim of Levi's navel. It tickled and Levi winced. Erwin's hand wrapped around Levi's side. He found the cut and gently rubbed it with the pad of his middle finger tip. The deepest part of Levi's cut around the back of his ribs had scabbed and raised, and in some places the skin was newly scarred and still had soft, new skin. Erwin closed his eyes and lowered his head. Levi's cock twitched just before Erwin wrapped his mouth around it. 

Levi's eyes rolled back in his head from the relief of finally getting some attention where he needed it most. The deep moan that surfaced from his chest was hindered by the cloth in his mouth, and he bit down. The taste of precome hit Erwin's tongue and he swirled it around Levi's cock with his mouth. Opening his mouth wider, Erwin took Levi farther into him and sucked. Levi's breath caught in his throat and he clenched his fists. Erwin moved his head up and down taking the entirety of Levi in his mouth. The soft part of Erwin's throat on the tip of Levi's cock felt incredible. It made Levi want to buck his hips, but he resisted and settled for only wiggling his feet. Even though Levi thought it was odd that Erwin was paying so much attention to his cut, he liked it. Feeling the touch on the tender area paired with the ravenous sucking of Erwin's mouth was an excellent sensation. Levi cursed through the cloth in his mouth. The feeling of tight heat was already collecting in Levi's stomach. If Erwin did this for too much longer, he would come in his mouth. 

Erwin took his mouth from Levi's cock and looked up at Levi. Levi lifted his head just enough to see the top of Erwin's head. 

“Levi,” Erwin whispered. “Don't panic.” Levi furrowed his brow and felt uncertainty race through his mind. When Erwin put his hands under Levi's ass and lifted him, Levi's legs naturally rested over Erwin's shoulders. Levi's eyes opened wide when Erwin spread his cheeks with his hands. He knew what was happening then. Panic set in, but Levi couldn't move from Erwin's grasp. Levi protested against the rag in his mouth, but his words melted when he felt Erwin's tongue against his hole. His heels were digging into Erwin's back.

Erwin pressed his tongue against Levi's clenched hole, and held it there for a moment before flicking his tongue up. 

"Every bit of you is delicious," Erwin said only loud enough for Levi to hear him. 

Disgust was Levi's initial feeling, and it was quickly followed by bliss. Toes curled against Erwin's back and Erwin pressed Levi's opening with his tongue. Levi was still tense. Erwin gave the twitching muscle a slow, long lick. He felt Levi relax in his hands a bit more. Erwin gathered enough spit in his mouth and put his tongue back on Levi soaking his opening. Levi held his breath and his toes pressed harder into the skin of Erwin's back. Rolling his tongue, Erwin pressed at Levi's hole and the very tip slipped inside of Levi. 

Unwilling to fight the mental taboo anymore, Levi relaxed in Erwin's hands and closed his eyes. Clenched fists pulled against the belt until it hurt just to try and resist reaching down to touch Erwin. Drool ran down the corners of Levi's mouth past the rag. Erwin swirled his tongue around the edge of Levi's barrier until it relaxed completely. When he heard a moan rise from Levi's chest, his cocked twitched and ached. Erwin pressed the tip of his tongue against Levi's hole and licked up and down. Levi began trembling in his hands, and he couldn't hold him up much longer without concern for Levi falling. 

Erwin lowered Levi's thoroughly soaked ass carefully to the floor. He made sure the rib cage with no damage touched the floor first. Erwin leaned back on his knees and grabbed the liquor bottle. Levi looked up at him with heavy lidded eyes. Erwin took a mouthful of the liquor and swished it in his mouth for a few seconds. Swallowing quickly, Erwin put the bottle back down and lowered his pants and underwear. He freed his throbbing cock from his clothes. Levi's eyes fell to Erwin's throbbing member. 

Erwin picked up the bottle of Aloe Vera and poured some in his hand. He wrapped his lubricated hand around his cock and coated himself with it. Erwin closed his eyes and breathed out. It felt so good to finally be touched even if it was by his own hand. He had fallen so deeply into exploring Levi that he had completely neglected his own need. Watching Erwin stroke his cock was pleasant, but when he didn't stop immediately, Levi became impatient again. Levi brushed Erwin's thigh tenderly with his foot. Erwin opened his eyes at the sudden touch and a crooked smile crossed his face. 

“I haven't forgotten you,” Erwin assured him. His hand was covered in Aloe Vera still. The remainder on his hand was applied to Levi's opening. When Levi pressed into it, Erwin poured some more of the Aloe Vera in his hand and slathered it over Levi's twitching muscle. 

“Breathe in,” Erwin whispered. Levi closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. With his left hand, Erwin reached down and directed the head of his cock to press against Levi's hole. His right hand took Levi's left leg and lifted it. “Now.” Levi exhaled slowly, and Erwin pressed until he entered Levi. At first, Levi felt like he couldn't handle the discomfort. It didn't hurt, but Levi wasn't as loose as he had been. When Erwin felt Levi clench, he held still. The position they were in wasn't ideal. After letting Levi's leg down, Erwin leaned over Levi and supported himself with his hands on the floor.

Erwin pulled the handkerchief out of Levi's mouth with his left hand. The cloth fell out of Levi's gasping mouth and rested easily around Levi's neck. Erwin put his mouth on Levi's and kissed him deeply. A taste of pure grain alcohol flooded Levi's mouth, and he leaned into it. The tightness around Erwin's cock eased just enough for him to push farther. With a single thrust, Erwin was fully submerged in Levi's ass. He captured Levi's moans with his mouth to muffle them. Levi lifted his left leg and wrapped it around Erwin's hip to hold it up. 

Erwin rocked his hips back and forth entering and pulling out of Levi. The lubricant did its job, and the rhythm became smooth and easy. Erwin wrapped his hand in Levi's hair. When Erwin pulled his hair, Levi thought he would come. Erwin held Levi close to him and gained a faster rhythm. After Erwin broke the kiss, he opened his blue eyes to watch Levi. 

“Fuck,” Levi whispered between heavy breaths. He felt so high that he couldn't even moan anymore. His chest felt heavy, and he could barely breathe. Erwin pulled Levi's hair tighter. 

“Levi,” Erwin growled. There was something else he wanted to say, but he refrained. “You're mine now.” That would have to do. The words didn't mean anything to Levi in his disoriented state. Levi wrapped his other leg around Erwin's hips and lifted himself to match Erwin's thrusting. The change of position felt amazing, and Levi bit his bottom lip. Unable to look away, Erwin devoured every detail of Levi. His body sliding back and forth against the floor with each of Erwin's thrusts that were gradually harder and faster. White knuckled, clenched fists held above his head. The brown leather belt contrasting Levi's pale skin. The sound of the buckle scraping the floor when it dragged under Levi's wrists. Black hair sprawled against the white sheet. Eyes closed tightly. Wet mouth gaping with panting ecstasy. The bite mark Erwin left on his neck was already beginning to bruise and change to such pretty colors. Levi's skin was flushed. Below, Erwin could feel Levi's heat clenching and releasing around his cock. Their skin slapped together audibly when their bodies met faster and faster. 

“I love looking at you, Levi,” Erwin muttered through gasps. The words didn't reach Levi. He heard them, but they didn't matter at the moment. Then there, the pleasure so strong it was almost painful, and Levi came with a loud gasp followed by desperate moaning. The orgasm made his entire body shudder and his head raised from the floor. Heat clenched around Erwin's cock, and a moan ripped from his throat. 

“Erwin,” Levi breathed. Then, gray and wet eyes opened just enough for Erwin's heart to skip. The usual distant look in Levi's eyes had faded, and Erwin saw that Levi was really looking at him now. All of it sent Erwin over the edge, and he shuddered with the power and heat that rushed through his cock. Erwin dropped his head and hid his face in the crook of Levi's neck and shoulder. His hips moved on their own a few more times before stopping. Paralysis captured his entire body, and Erwin had never felt so weak. It took all of his strength not to collapse.

The belt buckle sounded. Still bound, Levi lifted and wrapped his arms around Erwin's shoulders. The loose part of the belt fell and rested on Erwin's back. Erwin found the strength to wrap his arms under Levi pulling him close. 

“Rest,” Levi offered. Erwin lowered himself some more, but wouldn't fully lay on Levi. He did allow his some muscles to relax though. Their breathing synchronized naturally. Erwin ran his palms flat down Levi's back and found the remains of the newest wound. He held his palm to the back of Levi's ribs and against the raised scabs and flat scar. Now in his arms, Levi's body was warm and pulsing with breath instead of heavy and weak. The memory of a bloody Levi in his arms was far away and faded now. There was only enough room in his memory for this body now. Erwin closed his eyes and anticipated the rise and fall of Levi's ribs with each breath. 

Levi lowered his legs first and put his feet back on the floor. The movement separated Erwin's softened cock from him and his winced with a the feeling of final pleasure. He lifted his arms again and laid them above his head dragging the belt along with them. Even though Erwin wasn't ready to let go, he put his palms on the floor and lifted himself. Opening his eyes, he smiled at Levi as he rose. 

Erwin leaned back on his knees. He didn't look down to see if they had made a mess of his sheet. After he pulled his underwear and pants back up, Erwin crawled over Levi's leg and laid down next to him on his side. He reached up with one hand and released the belt buckle. The belt released and collapsed enough for Levi to take his hands out of the loop. He brought his hands down and rubbed his wrists. Then, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and his eyes with his heels of his hands. 

“Sprung a fucking leak,” Levi said. Levi rolled over onto his side that wasn't injured to hide his face while he wiped at it. The joke made Erwin chuckle. Pure grain alcohol lingered in Levi's mouth from Erwin's drunken kiss earlier. There was only a slight amount of redness where the edge of the belt had creased Levi's wrists. A big arm wrapped itself around Levi's waist, and Erwin pulled Levi to him until Levi's back rested against his chest. Erwin's big hand rested on Levi's chest. The sheet bunched between them. 

“Do they hurt?” Erwin asked with gentle concern. 

“No,” Levi said. 

“Good,” Erwin kissed Levi's shoulder

“I'm exhausted, and I barely did anything,” Levi commented with a sigh. Erwin grinned. 

“You worked today. You should be tired.” They laid there in silence long enough that Levi closed his eyes to rest. There wasn't any rest for Erwin though. Erwin allowed himself to revel in all the feelings he had experienced while he was on top of Levi. The image of Levi looking at him, truly seeing him, was burned in Erwin's mind. Levi felt like he was about to fall asleep, but then his thoughts drifted to the expedition he would miss. Just when he lifted his head from the floor to say something about it, Erwin stood.

“I'll bring you a wet rag,” Erwin said. He stood and went to his wardrobe. After grabbing a rag, he went to his bedroom door. He opened it and listened. When he didn't hear anyone talking, Erwin closed the door behind him and walked down the hallway to the wash room. 

He turned on the hot tap and pulled his underwear down enough to look at himself. Quickly, Erwin washed off and then washed the rag with soap to clean it for Levi. After the rag was cleaned and soaked, Erwin wrung it out in his hands. 

When Erwin returned to the room, Levi was sitting up on the sheet. Erwin tossed the rag to Levi and he caught it. 

“Levi,” Erwin said. Levi was busy wiping himself with the rag. 

“Yeah.” 

“What did Hasret say about you going on the expedition next week?” Levi clenched his teeth with irritation. He finished wiping himself off by reaching under his ass once before he folded the cloth.

“I'm not supposed to go,” Levi said. 

“Do you want to go?” 

“Of course.” Levi thought that was a stupid question. 

“Ask her to look at your wound again the day before. Insist that you have to go if you can ride a horse,” Erwin said. Levi looked up at him. 

“Riding the horse isn't the problem,” Levi said. “I can't use gear like this.” 

“Let me see,” Erwin said and motioned for Levi to stand up. Levi dropped the rag to the side off the sheet. He stood and turned his back to the fire so Erwin could see. Erwin trailed his thumb along the scabbed and healed skin. It was thinnest around Levi's kidney and to the small of his back. It barely looked like a scratch now. Yellow bruises still riddled the path of damage, but they would heal soon.

“Right here,” Erwin put his index fingertip against the part of Levi's scar where it thinned under his ribs. “That's where you moved away, and the cut was shallow. She's worried about the belt that will wrap around your ribs. If you heal as fast as usual, you shouldn't have any problem wearing the equipment.” 

“Yeah?” Levi asked hopefully. Erwin kissed the back of Levi's hair. 

“It won't hurt to ask her again,” Erwin said. “Just get plenty of rest.” Levi froze for a second when Erwin kissed the top of his head. The words Erwin had said to him earlier returned to his memory, and now he was lucid enough to wonder about them.

“Do you still feel drunk?” 

“No,” Erwin said. He looked at the water glass on the table next to the couch. Erwin picked it up and drank some more water. 

Levi turned to his clothes on the couch and began dressing again. Erwin watched Levi dress in the fire light while he drank his water. 

“I made a mark on your left shoulder,” Erwin said. Levi reached up to feel of it. The skin was stinging. 

“Is it big?” 

“Your shirt will cover it.” Levi yawned and put his uniform jacket on. Erwin walked over to the sheet and looked at it. They had made a mess, but he couldn't bother getting another sheet. He could flip it over for the night. Erwin lifted the sheet into the air and let it fall back to his bed with the dirty side up. He reached down, grabbed the rag and tossed it to the side of his wardrobe to be washed.

“I need a shower,” Levi said. Erwin smiled and knew what Levi meant. 

“Take a cigarette for later,” Erwin offered. Levi took a cigarette and a match from the tin. He put them in his breast pocket. 

When Erwin turned around he leaned down and kissed Levi's lips quickly. Levi's eyes widened, but Erwin smiled down at him without mentioning Levi's facial expression. 

“Good night, Levi,” Erwin said. 

“Night,” Levi said. He left Erwin's room and headed downstairs. While he was walking through the hallway, he stopped by his room. Carefully, Levi took the cigarette out of his jacket pocket along with the match, which he had to dig around for, and laid them both on the foot of the bed so they wouldn't be crushed. He took off his uniform jacket and hung it up. While he was at it, he put his pillowcase of personal items in the wardrobe on the bottom shelf. Levi dressed down to his underwear and grabbed his towel. Once he had what he needed, Levi walked down the hallway to the toilet and showers. 

After he finished in the toilet and shower, Levi walked back to his room with his towel around his shoulders and used underwear in hand. He walked a little faster when he heard the front door open. He could hear Mike, Hange and Flagon all slurring in loud whispers. 

Once Levi was in his room, he closed the door behind him quickly. He heard all three of the Squad Leaders stomping up the stairs to bed. After he couldn't hear the boot steps anymore, Levi opened the door of his wardrobe and draped his damp towel over it to dry. He dropped the used underwear to the side of the wardrobe to be washed.

There was a knock at his door. Levi sneered and turned around prepared for whichever drunk was at the door. 

“Who is it,” Levi called out. 

“It's me,” Mike said. Levi tilted his head with curiosity. He quickly grabbed a clean pair of pants out of his wardrobe and hopped into them pulling them up quickly. As soon as he had buttoned and zipped them, Levi stepped to the door and opened it. Mike barely looked drunk, but he had a hand on either side of the door frame leaning in towards Levi. His eyes looked almost completely sober.

“Didn't you go out?” Levi asked. 

“Yeah,” Mike said. “Did you go get your cigarette?” Mike's eyes darted to the red, angry bite mark on Levi's left shoulder, and then darted quickly back to Levi's eyes. He focused on not allowing his facial expression to change in the slightest even though he felt happy for his friends. The realization of what Mike had seen came to Levi when he remembered what Erwin had told him. Levi didn't let on that he had noticed. 

“Shit,” Levi thought. “Yes,” he said.

“Good!” Mike said. He turned on his heels and walked back up the hallway. “Good night.” 

Mike headed back up the stairway quietly and went straight to Erwin's room. He burst through the door without knocking and shut it behind him. Erwin sat straight up in bed and looked at the doorway. His heart began racing when he saw Mike. 

“What,” Erwin panicked. “What happened?” 

“Nothing,” Mike sat on the edge of the bed. “Erwin.” 

“Yes,” Erwin said quickly. The pounding of his heart made him feel like his chest would explode. 

“I just saw Levi's bite mark,” Mike blurted. “Tell me what you did. I want to try new things with Nanaba.” Erwin sighed with relief and collapsed back in bed. He covered his eyes with his right forearm.

“Mike,” Erwin said. 

“Yeah.” 

“Get out.” 

“Alright,” Mike said. He stood. “Tell me tomorrow then.” Mike exited the room. Erwin rolled over onto his side in bed and laughed. Relief spread through his chest. It felt so good to laugh again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel compelled to add this disclaimer. Alcohol and consent don't mix. What Erwin and Levi had done in this piece is against my personal morals even if nothing went wrong and it turned out to be rather sweet. Trying a new thing with your partner that involves bondage while you are drunk isn't a smart idea. In fact, being sober when trying any new sexual ground is very important. Compounded with Levi's reluctance to rimming, I just wasn't sure that this piece was safe to share. I may not have shared it if Erwin had not absolutely melted into man mush along the way. I hope that I was able to give the piece enough grace that all of the gray areas are smoothed over enough for it to still be enjoyable. If anyone feels like this piece deserves a content warning that I have neglected, please say so in the comments. I'll gladly add it.
> 
> Most of the time, when I write for these two, I really do feel like they are directing the story and I'm only taking notes. 
> 
> Please be safe and keep cautious in all of your own encounters.


End file.
